People have told me they’re surprised at how fast I walk given my short legs. I’ve also heard I have a distinct “Amanda Mae’s coming!” gait (which I’ll take as a compliment). I don’t stomp around at a quick pace everywhere I go intentionally – I just always feel a strong sense of urgency and purpose whether I’m walking to the bathroom or across New York City, and I guess it shows.
Last night, Nick and I were relaxing on the couch watching Family Feud and some question on the show prompted a conversation between us about how I apparently never let him open the door for me.
“You just walk ahead of me and barge through the door!”
“Well if you just walked a little faster, you could get to the door first and open it!”
“That’s not the point. You should be walking with me.”
“Well… You need to hurry up!”
You see, speed is a fundamental difference in our personalities that I’m 99% sure won’t ever change in this lifetime, so I guess I should figure out how I want to deal with that sooner than later. But today as I was listening to one of my favorite pastors on the radio I was challenged to think about this a little deeper…
As much as I love walking, I have little patience for it if I’m not moving at the speed I want to/think I should be walking. I realized I not only fail to walk alongside Nick, I too often fail to walk alongside God also: I charge ahead of Him, barge through the door and expect Him to be where I want, when I want, then get disappointed when He doesn’t “show up” and I realize I’m at the wrong place.
I’ll be honest, I struggle with the phrase “God’s timing is perfect”. In my heart I do believe that’s true, but when times are hard and the waiting seems endless that just doesn’t bring much comfort at all. It isn’t easy to suddenly hit the brakes, slow down, and change such an ingrained part of my personality.
But I’m thankful for this season of stillness and waiting. God had to practically force it on me – but He has done it out of lovingkindness and grace, saving me from myself. It is far better to walk alongside God and wait for Him to open the door, knowing He’ll choose the right one at the right time.
❤ amanda mae